A Reflection on Life and Relationships

The things we do in our life, the paths that we take and the people that we meet help us grow in some way.  Life come in so many flavors due to these many interactions: sometime it is joyful, painful, sorrowful, gleeful, surprising, and even enlightening.  In the end, it all does one thing, it built a bond between people/humanity.  Thus; at the end of a day, we must not forget that it is the relationships that we have in our life that are most important.  Without it, we have nothing worth fighting for.

1) Once should never need to fight for a spot in someone's life.

I find that if someone really value the relationship they have with you, be it friendship or a romantic relationship, you should never have to fight for a spot in their life.  If they see the value in the relationship, they should automatically make room in their life for you.  If they don't, then it just mean they really don't value you at all.

2) You get what you put in.

This is very simple.  How much you invest in a relationship is how much you get back.  If you want to be understood, then you must learn to understand other.  If you want to be love, then you must first learn to love.  If you want friendship, then you must learn to be friendly.  Relationships, at least healthy working one, are two ways street; it is all about giving and taking by both sides, not just one side doing all the giving or taking.

3) Everything good in life require work.

Nothing in life is worth having without working for it.  It is the same with all relationships.  People are not mind reader, we cannot understand another perfectly all the time, and there will be misunderstanding.  This is why relationships that are worth having are the one worth fighting for.  It take courage to admit a mistake, it take tenacity to overcome stubbornness, and it take a lot of communication to make things work out.  Everyone need to be willing to put in the work for any relationships they cherish.

 4) Your happiness is in your hand.

The most important relationship you will have in life, the most important relationship anyone will have in their life, is the one with the self.  Happiness start with the self, and when one cannot be happy with oneself, then there is no chance of happiness with anyone else.  No body else in the world can make you happy until you make yourself happy.  It sound cliche, but until we each accept our own happiness, it is impossible otherwise.  If you ever feel like it is someone else fault that you are unhappy, think again.  Your partner cannot or should not complete you as you should already be completed.  We control our own happiness.  This is especially true for those that are pressure to find a romantic relationship because they feel incomplete.  STOP!  Look in the mirror and figure out why you feel this way first before unloading those baggage on to someone else.

5) Learn to forgive.

Forgiving someone is not for their sake, but it is for your sake.  We each live happier life when our resentments and pain does not shackle us down.  To forgive someone is not to say that you forget their actions, but it is to say that you had let go of the pain.  It is you saying that you will not let their actions get in the way of your happiness.  So, learn to forgive.  It only make the relationships in your life that much stronger and easier to maintain.

6) Don't try to change people.

The only person you can change is yourself.  Instead of trying to change other, the only thing you can do is to lend them your supports and be a role model in their life.  They have to change themselves.

7) Don't waste your energy arguing.

Use your time and energy on those that love you instead of wasting it arguing with those that hurt you.

8) Respect yourself.

When there are those around you that hurt you, that force you to compromise your value and belief, and mistreat or abuse you; have some respect for yourself and get them out of your life.  It will hurt, that is a certainty, but it will hurt less in the long run.

9) Nothing last forever.

People die, and nothing last forever, even the greatest of relationship.  Cherish the one that care for you, that love you, and that bring the best out of you. Appreciate these people as much as you can because you never know when they will disappear from your life.  Take nothing for granted in life.  Love deeply and fully, and when it is all over, it will have been a worthwhile journey.

10) Small gestures of kindness mean a whole lot.

Your kindness and gratitude matter.  Every chance you get to honor that special relationship in your life, you should take it.  Making someone smiles can change the world; maybe not everyone's world but at least it change that someone's world.

Thank you for sharing in my reflection, and this help me see clearer the relationships in my life.  I hope that it too has helped you in some way.